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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

tech-NO-logy ..... SUCKS or ROCKS

INsanity by Mag[m]-

Technology is what that makes a human lazy , It is jamming humans nerves day by day. Don’t u believe me than y the hell invention of finger bowl after meal takes place, what toilet paper is doing in this world , y deodorants exists when u can bath, y we use supplements to have 8-packs like AAMIR KHAN , y we have remote controls for most of our electronic gadgets, whats a need of Locks when it cant stop a thief  from stealing and a honest man will never do anything like to steal, y the market for automatic goods making a boom in stock exchange.

I never understand what the meaning of technology, if it is meant for better performance than y we made BEERS to make us a non performer ,if it is for time saving than y we blog just to  killing time of our and others, if it is for advancement than y we still using a red rose to propose a girl. Some things are in this world that cant be explained in words. If we take in other way sometimes it hides our prime motive like some one who ever discovered cow's milk , do u know what he exactly want to do with cow.

Well this post is not all what technology meant for , it is just to suggest some more advancement in it that is badly required by youth ( ya this time I can lead youth becoz whatever m going to suggest will definitely attract them), when I heard about this competition I simply forwarded a msg to all ma engineering mates that “ if they have some technology that can perform his/her one work than what work they avoid most” And I got worst replies than expected. Lets see what engineers (that themselves taken as Technology Maker) want  from technology….

  1. Yaa a machine that can pause timings when u r getting late for office in the morning and ur eyes still wants a 10 min more sleep. It has a feature to forward ur time when u r attending a lecture or office meeting and also has a feature to reduce call duration for out going call.

  1. Many of them takes bathing as one of the most boring work to do. Deodorants can be a alternate option for this but kabhi kabhi khud ki atma bhi dhikkarne lagti hai ki ab to naha lo yaar , so that we need something that can provide us a feeling of wetness ,freshness and off course cleanliness too.

  1. Craziest demand is of a reading chip that will store all ur reading material and u can easily connect it with ur mind. The Biggest dream of today’s youth is “ no more funny elements like studies” . so they want something that have at least 5 lakh GB storage capacity with wikipedia stored in its internal memory  and  most most most importantly that should not be detected by any living or dead man, machine, process.

  1. Even voice command needs from a human to open his mouth and use its 398 cells to speaks, so the demand is for some thing that can sense human expression and can perform the task according to that.

  1. Need something that can provide muscles like Sylvester Stallone and skin like Robert Pattinson for men and for girls we need…. Ahhh any pimple cream and a little common sense just in a week

  1. This one is a blunder of all. As the bomb was invented to destroy all the invention. I  (yes this time I want it) want something that will destroy everything . What all I have to do in life just to eat sleep and blog   ( yaa can never miss to blog). No tension for money , work , studies, responsibilities, rights and for anything.

List will go long but blogspot and HP doesn’t allow me too much space for all this crap ,  so m winding up ma not-so-happening list of upcoming technologies and hope HP will definitely consider ma list as an urgent requirement and will never ask to a blogger about technology requirement. Its already a midnight and I really need a tea break…. Ahhh crap can anybody offer me a tea I don’t want to move from here J

Other INsane posts are :

Monday, August 9, 2010


Insanity by Mag[m]:-

Me: Hello
He: What the fuck do u think of urself ??
Me: (what a starting ) Mag *innocent*
He: Don’t b over smart,u ass hole.
Me: mind ur damn tounge (yaa damn…but still far from the category of f-word)
He: Y the hell u call her ?
Me: her..??? *confused*   who ??
He: hey u fucker dont play pranks with me. What do u want from her??
Me: same as that every fucker wants from a girl …!!!  *grinned*
He: don’t call her again, m warning u.
Me: r u kind of alien...!!  or u born without any human sperms, don’t u understand that m asking for something….. which girl r u talking about ?
He: whom u talked last night .
Me: does she grown up without any name ?? I called to customer care last night also, r u talking about her than told her to leave her job and b a parasite on u.
He: m talking about shruti. Y u called her ??
Me: I never called her ( just only once…naahh by twice….ohhh crap I did it so many times but who the fuck he is to instruct me) BTW who r u ??
He: m UMANG and m her x-boy-friend.
Me: u r her X and  m her P.
He: what the crap do u mean.
Me: I know this will go above ur head. A boy born without sperms is mentally challenged too. P means present boy friend.
He: we had enjoyed 5 year this relationship.
Me: ( y he stressed so much on word “ enjoyed” , this man really makes me jealous I just really wanna kick his ass from deepest of ma heart) Even Indian government never last longer than 5 years. Ur time is over.
He: u mis guided her.
Me: m I look like politician or bollywood’s vilan, who will misguide her.
He: u will have to face a trouble for it.
Me: just FUCK-OFF. *disconnected*

Lots of question in mind…. What the hell happened in last 2 min , did I win the verbal fight, did I pissed-off on him, do I became a real stud or dude *feeling of proud* errr…….what I m thinking man… I should think about ma girlfriend and m busy in screwing ma head about the result of abusive conversation competition between me and him…. So is she having any passing affair, m I her first choice , what if umang was right,What if she still having multiple affairs…. What should I do , now what can I do (only state in life where a man interviewed by himself… ok ok wrong example, I know that )
But only she can answer all this, I should call her….

Me: hello
She: hey hiii sexy
Me: (last word should b said by me…. What a real morom I m) who is this umang ??
She: ahh m school friend, but y r asking ?? and how do u know him.
Me: he called me , begging for his X-Girl-friend.
She: and who is his girl-friend?
Me: (what the hell is going on, now she is hiding something from me) its u *dumbo*
She: what the hell….!!! He is not ma boyfriend, ahhh actually he is the boy-friend of shalini.
Me: whatever *least interested in shalini..actually focusing on her right now*
She: but y he called u .?? must b abhishek told him to do so.
Me: now who is this abhishek in the story.
She: Ma Boy-friend…. Actually ma best friend.
Me: decide first Boy-friend or Best-friend *angry*
She: Best-friend
Me: and who I m ??
She: ma boy-friend , ma loved one, but what did u said him *thank god*.
Me: I think I just pissed-off on him… ya definitely *confused*.... I tought him a lesson .
She: I know … u have real balls and guts, that’s what I like in u , I m proud of u, I love u.
Me: but r u sure na… that u don’t have any affair other than me *still confused*
She: no ma baby… lets go to watch any movie , lets change ur mind.
Me: na sexy not yet (at last I used that word… what a good learner I m ), I will definitely portrayed this incident over ma blog and will participate in “soch lo” contest. And after I win we will go for movie and will have a great time together.
She: ohhhh ur fucking looks like ur second girl-friend, just go to hell with ur blog, m going.
Me: I love u sexy...but I will not hear anything about ma blog specially that f-word, if u cant understand it, its ur fault, infact I think u too born without human SPERMS .

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Friday, August 6, 2010

INsane "Emotional Atyachaar"

Insanity by mag[m]

EMOTIONAL ATYACHAAR is a thing that can  b done in any form sometimes it was done by mom , girl friend , news channel , by tushaar kapoor’s movie , by some deadly pj and off course by Ram Gopal Verma.But I have a different experience about it, experience that shows ma reality ma absurdness, ma insanity and a real mag.

It was a ma frnd birthday party, and u know what…only the boys hostel is the only place in the world where people r really feared of it…. Why , u really want to know y…. just b there once and than ur ass will answer u ( minimum 6-7 round and each include belts frm buckle side, pipes, boot kicks, slaps, sleepers and many more made it for u ) but it was the awesome part that we missed a lot after hostel becoz of such a blast, passion, love, party….. ohhh m talking about party*grin*  ( every time I lost , when it was a talk about ma hostel life) .

As much I know about ma engineering life and ma mates , we engineers r passioate about only three things girlfriend, whisky , and a job in MNC( rest things lies only in sub-line) and this passion changes into the obsession when u got two of them.  

Party was at its peak and ma peg too, everything was going blunder , we enjoying at our best and at 11 we went back to our hostel and than a round of dance party started and we emjoyed a lot. Than after ma frnd dropped me to ma room and as he went off to ma room, I turned towards ma PC and checked ma gtalk( another things about engineers they hardly shut down their PC and always show online status) it shows is online… and suddenly ma third passion provoked me, I controlled ma nerves and hold the keyboard and said….

Me: hiiiii
        How r u ???
She: hiii
        M f9 u tell ??
Me:- m too
         Whats ur name..??
She:  what….!!  U really don’t know..??
          I m Shruti…. Shruti kapoor
Me: and m manish
She: I know
Me: ( must b she saw ma id that started with ma name )hmm…. So what do u do ?
She: Have u drunked.??
Me: ( I checked for any spy cam in ma room ) y so..?? , I don’t like to drink… infact I hate those who drink.
She: ohhh really * unbelievable *
Me: actually m pursuing engineering..
She: I know…
Me: Again u know *puzzeled*, but I must say u have very sweet talking style.
She: *blank*…. Thnxs.
Me: do u have a boy friend ???
She: hmmm naaahhh
Me: even I too don’t have any girl friend.
She: What….!!! What  do u mean ??
         Uumm but as I know…… swati is ur GF na.??
Me : (what…!! Even she know about swati)  na na she is just ma frnd , actually it is not official she didnt accepted ma praposal yet, but *interrupted*
She: but ur orkut acc shows that u r commited.
Me: Aree it is for fun only but  ( whoopppp …forgotten what m saying…whisky mania)
She: so which is ur fav brand Signature or Blender’s Pride ??
Me: *confused* how wud I know…. I never drink
        What do u do ???
She: engineering.
Me: what a coincidence, m too doing ma
        Which branch ?
She : Electronics & Communication
Me: wow…!! Again same , m too from EC.
        Don’t tell me that u r in 3rd year.
She: ya exactly
Me: OMG…. So many coincidences in a single day. We should meet before, a lot can                       happen* fishy mind*.
She: ( what is it really mean…” a lot can happen”) *blank*
Me: m doing ma GLA mathura and u ??
She: me too
Me: what….!! What r u saying but ….wait wait… if u r from GLA and from EC, than u should b ma class mate.
She : wow… what a sharp mind u have *commented*
Me: but I don’t know u…. hey r u shruti kapoor ??
She: already told u that m shruti kapoor.
Me: but u didn’t tell me kit um wo wali shruti kapoor ho
She: what is this “wo wali shruti kapoor” , m swati’s room mate…. Ur girlfriend’s ohh sorry just-a- frnd’s room mate , I must tell this to swati .
Me: hey plz yaar,  m just joking, plz don’t tell this to swati else wiase  I again become single
She : ohhh really * pathetic ohh*
Me: ok ok I feel sleepy  m going.
She: I know…. It is better for u
Me: bye , take care ( sign out immediately before its reply came)

Still I don’t know whether I was suffered by EMOTIONAL ATYACHAAR or she., but who cares about that. But i must say that “ liquor drinking is enjourious to health and after that to talk with any girl can b even more dangerous”.so always b aware of that.

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