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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

NeW DeCAde RESoluTIon :: A PERfecT 10

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

People said "no one is perfect in this world" than you every one is still running behind the perfection. Personally m not interested intaking any resolution but i cant deny with present trend. After so much youth survey I came to a decision that following are some of the burning resolutions in India and have a look at them.....

1. Avoid sincerity as much as u can because mistakes make a man to judge the world in a better way, and you would not be able to realize the pain of others fall than why learn from others mistake, make your own.
2. Do regular exercise please because we humans are the best creatures of the God but our ass is not, it needs your help, so for the sake of your ass please do exercise regularly.

3. Laziness is always an emperor’s cup-of-tea. Lions always rests for the two third of his life and only spends one third for hunting. If hard work is the key to success than monkeys should be the kings of the forests not the LIONs.

4. Study less and think more because human Mind is a unique machine, as much you use it, better performance you get it and as less you study, as much you use it to get over the exams. Always remember RUN-TIME ideas show your real capability than the predefined PROCEDURAL-IDEAS. 

5.“Alcohol is not the solution of any problem” by Swami Vivekananda but  Vijay Malya said “It helpful in forgetting the questions” so what you want to do, follow the legacy of 19th centuries swami or 21st centuries real geek. So Live life King Size and show a big middle finger to all the problems.

6. Break at least one traffic rule in a day it develop the guts and balls in you. Because manhood is a thing which you can not learn in lecture hall

7. Screw up with the daily soaps on TV because we can not justify which is bigger crap Big-Boss, Raki-ka-insaaf or Balaji enterprises.So just love to hate it at all. 

8. Bath everyday, shave alternately and cut your nails after every two days, proper tucked in shirt, hanky in pocket and no experiments with your hair style Because Girlfriends is not a cake for rough-&-tough and rude dudes. 

 9. Quit the term “quit smoking” because without smoking drinking alcohol is useless and more of that what about the style of Ajay Devgan and Keanu reeves.

10. Never make New Year's resolutions again. Only losers bound themselves in constraints. Achievers never wait for a day to what to do or what not.



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Sunday, December 12, 2010

LOve YoU Mag[m]

This is Mag's iNsanity speaking this time 

Mag’s Insanity….that was the name that you have given to me,  You hold ma hand when there was no one with me and m at the verge to b lost in the infinity, u loved me and make me to reach at the place where now worlds top search engines like GOOGLE is recognizing ma presence.

You sacrificed your bloody exams to write stories for me, you comprises your friend circle to support ma F word lingo, you applied your brain for ma success (I know this is practically impossible for a zero brain boy but at least u tried it for me)   you have done everything what a boy will do for its girlfriend.

Its your birthday today and m so helpless to even wish you and say thnxs for everything, but one thing I assure you that whenever u want someone to share your sorrow , to celebrate your happiness, to get away from your loneliness, to beat the insanity …than m always here for you.

 You always have a great place in ma home and heart, whole with its 91 readers , 29 stories, 173 links, 33 photos and 247 comments will always warm welcome you. You are just not a writer for me you are ma friend, ma mate, ma soul, ma better half.

This post is for Mag[m] on behalf of his beloved blog Mag’s Insanity, I cant do anything more than this, but whatever I have mentioned here just came from the core ma heart, LOVE you Mag and



Thursday, December 9, 2010

ANOther CHEtan BHAgat.... ANothER IDiot

INsanity By Mag[m]:-

First time I am struggling to write something on paper apart from my exams. I am a normal engineering graduate from some non blue-blodded-college and belongs to the family where  still wearing the low waist jeans is a crime, having a long hair will put you in the category of loafers and watching the late night English movies will make you more suspicious than the porn star itself.

With lots of struggle and miracles somehow I managed to complete the degree and fortunately got the 2 jobs offers from two software giants like TCS and Dell (hey hey…. Don’t think me as an extraordinary-brilliant jerk because I will not allow anyone to play with ma repo, its just simply means that sometimes the business tycoons like RATAN TATA and  Michael Dell also commit mistakes).

So on a very fine day as sun rises at 5 in morning I too open ma eyes after sleep but a little late at 10 and before ma father say to me anything they first gave me a dirty look….

Fat: What you want to do now ?
Me: *yawning* I will prefer to brush ma teeth first before having anything.

Fat: *gave me another dirty look* I am talking about your life, what r u planning for your future?
Me: ohhh ….. Actually I want to b a writer.

2 minutes of deadly silence and than SLAP!!!  The complete silence is shattered in a moment .Usually I never eat anything till I brush but if it’s a slap I don’t mind it. *sad*. Whole day I tried myself away from ma Dad’s eye to avoid another face-off rather to avoid another slap. But according to the Indian constitution your elder brother also has a right to make a CONGRESS –LOGO over your bloody mouth.

BRO:- Hows your studies going ? You should prepare yourself for the upcoming corporate training.
Me: That is worthless *busy with my mobile tweets*

BRO: *puzzled* Are you nuts , you don’t know the competition in outer world. You are going to meet some real geeks .
Me: GEEKS *laughed* we have a batch f 400 illiterate engineers, who rubbed their ass for complete 4 years to be an electronics engineer and now going to work with a software firm and you said them geeks *a giant laugh*. BTW m interested to be a writer.

(I already guessed the another upcoming  slap on my fucking face so I kept my mobile sideways, eyes are down, no facial expression and sit like a typical Mom’s boy to face the another disaster )

BRO: U will understand soon, ok ok get ready for the wedding party , we have to be their at 8PM ( I only noticed two things  1. He is in good mood  2.why he so focused on 8PM) *grinned* 

I packed myself in a dress and reached at destination and sonly found myself more interested in sitting in a corner with a coffee than a wedding ceremony. I mean the food is messy, no hot chick or even satisfactory chick in half KM of radius, the DJ was not playing “minni badnaam” or “Sheila ki jawani” and ma mom kept on offering me the ice creams more fantasized by their color rather than taste.

Its so much relief to return to the bed after suffering from humiliating wedding which can be the most memorable for someone. I switched off the light , made the fan to rotate a little slow and laost with Sheila and munni while gazing towards the ceiling without any motive.

(Next day again I got up at 10 and  again my father gave me a  dirty look)

Fa: so what will you choose ? ( even I don’t know why he always ask me the question like this).
Me: in whom ? *yawning*
Fa: *another dirty look* This boy is so useless and irresponsible (looking towards ma mom) you didn't even decided it yet, i thought you was thinking over it whole night after yesterdays incident.
Me: ohhhh that last night incidence…. Actually i thought alot but finally I decided that Sheila is better than munni.
(Again a 2 minutes of silence and you already know what happened next)

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Saturday, December 4, 2010

Say NO to GIRls... ISSued In PUBlic INTrest

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

Who said this rape can be attempted only on women/girls/female orgasm , men can also be the victim of that, to enter the wrong pole in the wrong hole will damage  pole and hole both. Than why this partiality happened always with hole….. srry pole.

 From past three days m trying to connect myself with every possible female shown over my face book , orkut , gmail , yahoo, twitter, zorpia and blah blah….and every time I felt like raped over the social networking in front of trillions of people, I cant even find a space to hide ma bloody face *angry*  but people are still interested in watching “Na aana is desh lado” and discussing how we men crushed the women and made this community a men-dominating society. Here m just sharing the average response that I got mostly when I ping those red-ass-sucking-girls……

Me: How are you?
She: I am always fine. For heaven's sake, this is a bloody website. Even if I am not fine, you can't see me or do anything about it. So never mind that and uselessly don’t put a pressure on your small brain it will burst.

Me: What do you do?
She: Well, what do you think? Of course I am not selling pickles. I am a student and I study. I am moving onto my Master education in a few months and there is absolutely no need for you to know what program or course I applied for. So, why do you even care? Are you gonna pay for my education? Sure, you can pay for my undergrad at Waterloo for four years which is approximately $68, 000. If you still got some money left... you can also pay for my beauty salon and shopping. 

Me: Who is in your family?
She: Are you gonna marry me? No right? So why do you care who is in my family? Don’t ask me stuff like if I have a brother or a sister or how old are they. No, you can’t be friends with my brother and yes he will beat you up if you get near me. And sister, no I wouldn’t hook her up with you or anybody else for that fact. if I had one that is, but I DONT! It is completely none of your business.

Me: Where do you live?
She: Okay, get real! I am in UK! For those of you who don’t know where Glasgow is: Log onto Click on Yahoo Maps. Click on Directions. Put in your address and put the city of Glasgow and you can spend the rest of your life figuring out where I live in UK!

Me: Do you have a boyfriend?
She: NO NO NO !! I don’t want one. I am not looking for one. Not now, not later! In fact, I wanna be a NUN and NEVER GET MARRIED. Men are Stupid! I love being single, which means I don’t even have to share my popcorn with anybody while watching a movie. That is why my pants have started to feel a little tighter lately. So, don’t even try. You will never ever pass my list of a “qualified boyfriend.” :)

Me: Tell me a bit about yourself.
She: If you EVER ask me that question, I swear to god I’ll box you in the face. What the hell do you think is a profile for ? What else do you think is the purpose of it, moron? These questions and answers tell you a lot about me. Read below to find out my fav movies, music, books and TV shows. That’s all you need to know about me! To understand me, the best philosophers would have to rise from their coffins beneath the earth to discover me.
I hope that answers all your questions. Thank you very much. ONE MORE THING, and next time If you scrap me without reading my profile, I will block you, forget that you will ever get a reply.


1. If you can't handle my attitude, don't send me a friend request.
2. If you don't have anything meaningful to say, do not scrap me.
3. Do not ask for my msn if you don't know me well enough to be friends.
4. If you're gonna ask for my number, cross out this window right now.
5. If you want cam chat, you are definitely in a wrong profile because I don't put myself in a display box with anyone.
6. If you're gonna hit on me, all your gonna get is a BIG 'n' MASSIVE "NO!"

I am committed to RanVijay Singh (The MTV VJ).
Love you. 

Whhhooo what the fuck is this,  Is that a dream, or I just need to consult a doctor. But never mind neither she was a Indian girl who should show some simplicity or innocence nor I m the typical guy who learn something from his mistakes and never ping to an unknown girl next time but must pray that  “Agle janam mohe bitiya hi kijo”

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