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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

"Ms. JAVA" Vs " Mr. Mag"

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

She : I Love You, I Love You, I Love You .*with her immense beauty and desperate in her voice*
Me : Fuck off, Fuck off, Fuck off. * with my Rude-Dude-Type looks and Avoid-Her Types voice*.

She : But why, Don’t you love me ?

Me : Love you !!! *little villainous laugh* Bullshit , You are just a symbol of miseries, even i m not terrified as much for being caught while watching porn as much you terrified me, I will prefer to live with Dolly Bindra rather than you, You make ma life so infertile as that farms looks after harvesting over Farmville, you make me just like a retired whore, useless, worthless and even soulless. *with Red-Ass-Expressions*

She : But why only you are suffering so much, others are handling me very easily, may b you need to work little more on me.* with a cunning smile*

Me : ohhh cut this crap or else i will cut your neck, M regularly wasting ma 12-14 hrs sitting in front of you, ma eye side got increased , M feeling some piles symptoms in some of ma sensitive parts, ma appearance got even more dangerous than Albert Einstein itself and you are saying i need to focus more. I can’t understand where to focus and don’t dare to compare others with me. They may live with sucking their own ass but i can’t.

She : why are you talking so harsh ?
Me : What !! m I look harsh to , not at all dear, m actually chilling from inside and even pulses getting jammed. Do you know just because of you I returned back in the midnights from office, even the street dogs got ma timing and they never take a pain to open their eyes from their sleep, I was so fucked up at time that even the watchman surrender his wallet, watch, ring and other possession to me if i roared just a bit loud. Ma landlord’s child started comparing me with all those devils that he heard in his granny fairytales and you are still saying that why m so harsh.... m not harsh...not at all .

She : Is it ma fault and why are you blaming me, I agree that you sit 14 hrs. in front of me but in that time you want 10 smoking breaks, your girlfriend called you at least 15 times and don’t know how many times your testosterone got hyper activated by seeing your female colleges.
Me : *blank*

She : Look, I know its not easy for anyone, specially for the morons like you who can forgot to take pen in the examination hall but never miss a chance a ogle at the hot examiner and say thanks to GOD to not bringing your pen because it will give you a chance to have a chit chat with her.
Me : *blank*.

She : You are doing miracles over me, How many of others learnt me as fast as you did, How many of others wrote the 200 line code in me just on third day of learning and got 700 errors. Even ma compiler send me a personal note about your historical effort .

I took a 30 seconds of break to analyses whether she is commenting or complimenting, and finally got nothing as output from ma useless mind but suddenly something strikes in the empty box of mind and created echoes....700 errors

Me : but .. *she interrupted in between before I end or I start saying anything*
She : Yeah moron !! I know you still pissed off because of those 700 errors but think how many of others have just cleared those 700 errors in 2 hrs. Don’t be so rude and pessimist that you cant hold me in your arms. you got the guts and balls in your pant and you just need to give one more try .

"Hold , Arms, guts & balls" these are some words that make me to think again on this and somewhat m convinced not because she is good orator but because...

1. Someone is praising me and this is not a customer care call that you got regularly, its rare for me.
2. I don’t have any other option because now its not all about learning JAVA but to have balls in ma pants.

Me : *smiled* nodded

But suddenly i got kick on ma chair, ma world shakes like fruit shakes in juicer, m just at the verge to hit ma computer screen, ma day dreaming got over ..  SHIT...HOLY SHIT !!
Me: What the Fuck yaar, who the hell is this ?
Ashutosh : Dude !! focus on your coding, you again got 700 errors, what a consistency man, if Sehwag got this consistency than he alone is capable to beat other assholes*grinned*

FUCK OFF You and Your lame jokes, let me concentrate...... and saga of struggle again started.

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RicKy said...

mast hai be..
extraordinary post..

... Madhumathi ... said...

LOL!!! I read the headline bfore dis post... but u made me forget about the headline.. while reading ur conversation btw java nd u :P !!

U r really harsh towards Java :P Leave it. nd Love it :P

Priyadarshi said...

faad hai guru..vry nice and hilarious one..perhaps ur best post ever i read... :)

Geeta Singh said...

Java bichari :P

Mag[m] said...

@ricky...thnxs dost

@MM....what can i do.. i faced the disaster

@pd... is it so..

@geeta... hahaha

Akshita Jain said...

Awesome it it. Would love you to write for

Akshita Jain

Arjit Srivastava said...

Okay. So, you are dead again?

Prateek Sur said...

This is so awesome dude!!It was really nice to meet ya Mag and it was gud to be thr at the blogger's meet for the first tym..
try checking out my blog and commenting regularly..Would luv to hear ur views..Am following ya expecting u to return the favour someday!!

my movie link:

Prateek Sur said...

This is so awesome dude!!It was really nice to meet ya Mag and it was gud to be thr at the blogger's meet for the first tym..
try checking out my blog and commenting regularly..Would luv to hear ur views..Am following ya expecting u to return the favour someday!!

my movie link:

Rajnish said...

great post. Enjoyed it.

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