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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

ThaN I Met The THird KinD...

INsanity By Mag :-                                                                                      Manish Verma

I always thought that there are only two kinds of peoples in the INDIA, North Indian and South Indian, than i met the third kind “ THE Orissa Guys”. They are having like  pentium-1 inbuilt in their brain..... so slow, non sense in fact total worthless . BTW This is not about any racial discriminatory action and if u found anything like that than just go to hell man, I cant help u , this is all about ma Kerala trip. 

 I started ma journey at 5 in evening and m fully loaded with ma electronics gadgets( that contains only mobile and ipod *sad*) and a packet of cigarette .The very first thing I always used to do at platform is to check the reservation chart for any female in a group of 16-25 travelling with me and as always no one belonged to that category. The smallest female was of 27 years of age but interesting part was that her name mentioned with “miss” , that provokes me think again about ma age criterion. Should i increase the bar , should i decide it after seeing her, 16 years is too younger to me should i alter the criterion to 18-27..... too many question and a desire of another face off. Well train started and i settled on ma seat with ma broken heart.... railways cheated over me, they played with ma feelings , they printed mrs.27 as miss 27 on the can b they so rude, don’t they have heart and feelings, don’t they ever have any desire for females, y don’t they devide trains according to age and relationship status. I need some nicotine or caffeine or anything to make me calm down, I searched for ma cigarette packet and WTF....!!  only two*bad luck again* i rushed towards the gate and lit it , here i met someone....An Orissa Guy
OG: anna mada kuladi....
Me: *blank* ( what the fuck he is saying) I know only Hindi and sometimes English too.
OG: anna mada kuladi. *shouted almost*
Me: *blank*( just Fuck off.... let me smoke ma cigarette)
Suddenly someone put a hand over me and i turned in a reflection ....its TT , we were caught in offence of smoking in the train , OG started negotiating in his own language and only numbers are understand by me, First time in life i loved the mathematical numbers , we made a settlement of 100 bucks each, and after that i came to know that the TT was too from Orissa and this guy  was actually asking me about the  position of TT
OG: Y didn’t u replied me ?
ME: ohhhh so u know English..... than y the hell was u shouting in some aliens language.*angry*
OG: because U look like a south Indian *giggles*
ME: (Fuch off) *blank*
OG: Y r u so sad dude , its the matter of only about 100 bucks.
ME: ohh really *irritated*.... i have only two cigarette and that fucking TT ... if he wanted to charge me a penalty than y couldn't he wait to let me smoke first.... now i have only one golden stick in ma pocket.
OG: so where r u from ?
ME: UP *unexpected* Y so ?
OG: I knew that ( his eyes shining like he guessed correctly that where the OSAMA BIN LADEN was) u north Indians cant even handles the lightest situations.... u r like such a morons.
ME: ( This is the limit , i cant hear anyone to criticize us specially by this “anna mada kulide” guy.... i  have to answer...) * i enlighten ma last cigarette and started smoking again*  Only the north Indians can do this just after the penalty. *proud*
I reached the cochin at 5 in morning and ma train was parked in  between two trains , i was surprised where the platform was but.... janta..... they didn’t even care about that, they made their way to platform via railway line. So who m i to broke the lines , i too followed the crowd........  i called ma frnd to pick me up..... called once , twice, thrice.....almost  30th time but every time no reply..... WTF is this ,who made this creature like GF’s , he must talked to his GF late night and now sleeping like KUMBHKARNA. 70% infact 90% boyz efficiency was reduced by girls , they convert  them like a puppet who can talk to them, Admire them but cant do any other social activity but i realized its not his fault neither his GF's Fault, main victim is ORISSA, he is too from there.

I caught an auto for rest of ma journey and I didnt even noticed that ma other two co-passenger were two  hot chicks,  m so fucked up that hardly gave a look to them. I don’t want any more surprises, i just want to arrive at destination as soon as possible but this auto wallah.... i thought he is the relative of Michael schumacher. He was driving his auto (made in 1948) at the speed of at least 70-80 kmh and was busy with his mobile on the other hand, he used to turn the auto like anything. Many time ma hand touched the hot chicks hand and some of her sensitive part of the body. But somehow i managed to reached at destination before she filed any case of sexual harassment against me and finally i asked the most instigating question to the auto wallah....

Me: Where are u from ?

AW: Orissa....

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

DYing To b AlivE AgaIN

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

10 years back when I was in 8th standard , Life looks so simple and interesting to me. Donald duck, Shahrukh khan, Aladeen are ma some of the idols and i want to b a Cricketer, Pilot, Actor, politician in ma life. Ma all time favourite personalities are Timon & Pumbaa, Tom & Jerry, Scooby doo  and school’s play ground is the most wonderful place in the world for me.

M living the most wonderful days of ma life but suddenly one day we have a new admission in our class and its a BIJLI ( yaaa it was her name and I know it was not a promising name but who the hell I m to talk in her family matter ) this made  the competition for boys .5 % less , now we have a one more eye capturing element in our class , the 6 hours school timing looks so short and world war three started amongst the boys to sit behind her and class performance was at its all time low level.

I realised that sometimes being dumb at a moment can so worthily for u, she entered in the class and looked all around than came and sit next to me and her school bag touched me first time, it felt same as that Neel Armstrong felt after touching  moon to very first time, I even cant imagine her in ma best dream ever to sit in 5 mt radius of mine, but this time it was the truth. For sure It was not me or ma personality, or smartness or anything in me that provoked her for this decision  in fact it  was others drool mouth that made her to sit next to me and feel safe, This made me the biggest villain of the class and every boy wanted to kill me for sure but who care when the cutest girl of  class sited next to u.

Me: Whats ur name ?  *with violin sounds in background*
She : Bijli

I Lost so much in tha name and in violin sound that I didn’t realize once that m in a class and someone was  asking for ma name and I just replied with a speed faster than real Bijli.

Me: Bijli

But I realised some weirdness in the voice , her sweetness was washed out, I paused the violins sound and put bijli on hold for sometime and concentrated on voice again and aahhh it was not her , it was ma teacher.

Tch: What….!! Bijli , but this sounds a female name.
Me: its Manish
Tch: *What a crap*…. If u r Bijli than who is Manish and if u r Manish than y u said Bijli.
Me: *I need some intelligent & witty answer here to save me and after applying all ma available mind i finally found it* Madam its Manish Bijli Verma.

I felt same as Shahrukh Kahan felt in Mohabbtein after saying his full as “Raj Aryan Malhotra” to Amitabh Bachhan but this not Mohabbatein and neither ma teacher is Amitabh Bachhan and nor m a Shah Rukh Khan, everyone in ma class except me was kept on laughing an laughing, even Bijli was laughing hardly on me. She has broken ma heart. I was in this condition just because of her and now she was laughing on ma name or may be on her own name.I was punished and I had to spend a complete one hour standing outside the class. That was the shortest love story and quickest break-up ever know, all ma dream shattered in just a moment.

That day I felt so hurt. She broked ma heart and m started dying to live again, I really hate Bijli, and that day I decided to b an Engineer , an Electronics engineer , so that whenever I felt ditched by Bijli i can take ma revenge with her. And now I can play with her, cut her, deviate her, all I can say that now I can rule over Bijli…..he he ha ha haw haw haw

I know u feel so sucked after reading this but all I can only say that  HAPPY ENGINEERS DAY

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Monday, September 13, 2010

Mag-Nik ... still more to b revealed :)

Insanity by Mag[m] :-                          


I know that only negligible percent peoples will b interested in reading any post that describes man to man or female to female fellowship and as I think nothing is bad in that , It’s a normal human tendency except u r not a gay…. This time I have something special to b portrayed and I don’t believe that m doing this , it can b more disastrous for me than Hiroshima and Nagasaki had after the atom bomb explosion, but I have to keep ma promise, promise that was the worst in all that I had made in past a week. M jotting here something that have only 2 consequences that either it will ruin ma Blogging career forever or can show me some flying colours in near by future. M dedicating this post to ma fellow Blogger NIKITA from delhi but still m looking for some least probable possibilities and reasons for this post…

1. May b she was impressed by ma post and I will b able to get her ready for a DATE.
2. I m kind of Gentleman who always stick to his promise specially if the girl is on other side.
3.  We r so different in nature, signature and architecture but still I found she is a real angel that can change me , ma blog and everything bad in me. She can change Mag into Manish and INSANE into a Sane.

Off course the first one is ma all time favourite desire and to b loyal I thought about it at least millions sorry zillions of time that someday someone special will notice  something special and unnoticed in me that was always liable to b noticed but unfortunately unnoticed by all ( need not to mention that m talking about female community only because  m not a GAY..!! )  M geographically 2061 km apart from her but still can plan a coffee at CCD with her than a lunch than after a movie than roaming in any park than disc and hang out high with a perfect night out …this is something called as a Perfect Date and you can add spices in the plans by your own according to your taste like seats offered must b at the corner of the theatre, that day CCD will only have couples as a customer , Park would b a lovers point, and we have a Candle light dinner. But don’t add salt in last to things because m ALLERGIC TO BULLSHIT and too much spices is not good for health.

What to say about ma second point, actually I devoted maximum of time to think some thing strong , ironical, filmy, witty in support of it but finally found nothing. I always think of ma self a typical SRK who always have a perfect answer when it is concerned about his GF, and at last i found that whatever I have written in point 2 was totally a imaginary stuff that has no relation with any live or dead persons specially like me and it can b counted as rubbish.

Well about third point what can I say just our blogs and gtalk status can describe the whole story .This is the best way I ever discovered to make a image about some one. I know 99.999 %  times these status are copy pasted from some one liners site because an intelligent one never wastes his time on such crap things, a dumb one will always use ‘available’ status and those who belongs to none of them will use this ‘busy ‘status’ ( oposss  srry for wrong category  but no polling in India includes only 2 options) but still to choose any particular one liner among thousand will show your brainwaves. Her status suggests “Books are the real friends of a human. It should b kept near your heart” and mine suggests “I would not have been in this condition if bomb had fallen on Newtons head instead of apple”.  She believes “One day someone special walked in your life and u realize why it will not worked with anyone else” and I believes that “My Virginity is a gift to my wife, so always ready with the proof of your marriage”. Nothing matches in above lines except colour of the lines but no matter how we different are , how we take each other but the thing that only matters is, I completed ma promise and see has something divine  in her that made me to do that. You are awesome and god will always bless you.

PS: Don’t kill me for this non sentimental, partially true, unromantic wired post and if u don’t like it than don’t read afterward  !!! ……ohhh You are still reading  ??….. So u liked it.... so can I ask u something .....

  1. Why don’t u offer me a coffee at your place for this great effort of mine .
  2.  Do you really don’t like INDI-FLIRT tag over forum?
  3.  Its almost 3’o’ clock in the night and m getting bored so Can I call u ??

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