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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

GOD vs Me

INsanity by mag[m]:- 

Many of us always have a desire to be like a superhero and having a girlfriend like Kristen Stewart and even they know that these are just far from impossible. There is always some things that makes no sense but still they have a special place in your heart. I know u don’t agree with me that’s why there are always two kind of people in this world, first one who lives their life KING-SIZE and the second one who used to live their life DICK-SIZE. I choose the first one you can choose yours and the thing which is close to ma heart is ma conversation with GOD.

Me: Whats your name ?
G: GOD from heaven *head up in proud and heaviness in voice*

Me: m not asking about your community dude, whats your name ?*little irritation*
G: I don’t have any, you people just call me with this name, actually m the designer of this universe *again proud*

Me: How do I believe, do u have any proof *grinned*
G: Are u mentally disabled or something else, You are asking GOD for proof *strange*…. Ok u can ask anything to me about that.

Me: Do you have an Engineers degree.
G: No
Me: Do you know C, C++, Java , Oracle, DBMS.
G: *blank*
Me: can you work over Linux, windows, mackintosh ??
G: *blank*

Me: what a bullshit is that, u neither have a degree nor knowledge and claming yourself as a designer, damn this Corruption*anger*. I spend 16+ years to b a software designer.

G: Whats this software and what is its use ?
Me: You have different GOD’s for everything like air god, water god, fire god , But we can simply manage all this just by a man made software. It is easy to use and even you can consult giants like Microsoft , google for your own software for heaven.

G: but it will spread unemployment amongst GOD.
Me: *grinned*

G: Still we are best,  humans are existing on earth just because of us, we are behind their birth.
Me: ohhh really and I always thought it is a mutual effort of a man and women at night which always result as a birth of new life *grinned*

G: But I can decide when, where and how a new life will begin.
Me: so what…. I can tell you when will it end. *proud*

G: how ? *confused*
Me: Try Facebook’s DEATH CLOCK application. BTW we can create GOD too.

G: ohhh really like as..??
Me: RAJNIKANTH, he can do anything which is still looks impossible to you. It’s a 21 century dude and now we are better than you.

G: *crap* we can make the things happen.
Me: and we know why things happen. We have an explanation for almost everything. Even we have an explanation for your existence, you are here because us only.

G: This is crap, u cant say like that….
Me: yaaa I can say… ok just tell me than why all the traces of your existence found only on earth and not on mars , moon or any other planet.
G: *blank*

G: But still population explosion , corruption will never let u be better.
Me: u are blaming us for population explosion *bullshit* Do you know every other country have GOD’s  population in thousands only but when it comes to INDIA, it is 3.8 billion *thnxs to encyclopedia and google* and we are just following your trend .

G: leave it dude, lets talk about something light , whats ur name ?
Me: M an Indian by birth and Blogger by choice.*proud again*
G: but how do I believe?
Me: you can read it on BTW for that you need to have net connection *poor guy* , still u need to learn a lot from us *grinned*

G: Will you work for me ?
Me: * surprised cum shocked*  what….!!!  what will I do for you ?
G: You know about softwares, technologies , blogging and all, You are talented , mind blowing and simply a genius. Work for me and I will pay you whatever you want.

Me: I never heard these three world along with ma name but its time to revise others  dictionary and add me as a synonym of these three words. Now m a GOD certified genius
But whats ma package and incentives ?
G: what you want ?

Me: ummm nothing much just some billions, small island to live, an ocean of beer and one hot chick from heaven.
G: Done

suddenly I was kicked on ma ass and a bucket of water poured over me, I jumped in a reaction and realises that was just a dream , there is no billions, island, beer and hot chick waiting for me in reality, and most painful is that no more genius word for me.

Me: Is that a way to wake up someone even when he is living most awesome days of his life .
Roomey: dude its your interview today.
Me: huh……

I just smiled little and gave a whatever type look , I got ready for ma call and during the whole interview instead of software I just remembered that GOD called me a genius and irony was that I got the job.

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