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Saturday, June 26, 2010

MTv ....that makes a difference

After writing many worst post now m addicted to write even more worse ( hmm...Practice made a man perfect ) But its not entirely ma fault ,as so many blogger with so many mind, worked on so many stories that how can a little devil like me can get the story or even idea , m like an insane who cant write on abstract topics like nature, internet, social add ....etc ( aawwkkkk chhhiiiiii) and always need some interesting incident to b portrayed ( ohhhhh...... 4 lines completed without any relevant i consider ma self a good writer).

But still somehow ma story begins....Room was filled with extreme silence , tube light denied to glow, fan was generating a tornado, and mind restricted all the flow ......ohhh  no no it was not any haunted house it was ma weird room where i was sleeping ,and today too i was doing the same thing when suddenly a atom bomb blasted just above ma ear ( actually a pendulum watch)  one after another a continuous chain of 10 atom bombs....WTF  yaar......i didnt hate ma studies as  much as i hate the pendulam of ma watch. i woke up and sat on couch in front of TV and try to listen a romantic song  with mind almost  in coma. Suddenly a romantic song transformed into intolerable wrap music, I focussed ma mind with irritation...... ohhh was not wrap yaar it was ma mom who was calling me for breakfast , I stood up but  suddenly ma mobile rang   and.... and..... and  it was girlfriend

SHRUTI :- Hello honey , how r u ??

ME :- ( with 1000 volts of supply) Hey shr.....shrikant  ( MOM was just beside me ) how r u ???   kab wapas  aayi ??? and howz ur trip ...??

SHRUTI :- who is this bloddy shrikant..?? okiessss  so urs mom was near and u r terrified .....ohhh  POOR MOMS BOY  ...well meet me in 1 Hr in CCD. m going back to ma aunty's palce in nainitaal in 2 hrs.

ME :- ( what 1 hr its impossible...lots of works to do ...from  toilet to breakfast) okk m coming.


ME :- hmm  bye

SHRUTI :- na na say LOVE U ..... if u really love me than say LOVE U.

ME:- (what the bloody hell... does these two words r capable in justifying ma loyality ...if not than what the Fuck is this ) hmmmm LABLOO bye.( disconnected with a sign of releif)

I turned besides, ma mom was gazing me with her thousands of unfired bullets.....

ME :- WHAT....!!!

MOM :- who was on the phone ??

ME :- Shrikant.... ma class mate in clg

MOM :-  than y u say " kab wapas aayi "..??

ME :- ( beta manish ...this time no one can save u ) did i say aayi.... what aayi....what r u talking mom...what aayi no gayi.... this is all just beacuase of urs nonsense SAAS BAHU SERIALS.

MOM :- what is this LABLOO..?

ME :- ( ohh shit.....!!!! she remembered it too...what a memoy....y didnt she try for RAW  or FBI ) ... ummm umm actually his nick name was BABLOO so we tease him by DABLOO , LABLOO , FABLOO and all. ummm   Now may i go...???

MOM :- but before that drop me at chachi's place.

ME :- no mom , i will b late i cant...

MOM :- Beta its urgent...

I cant even understand what to do or what not, whom to choose and whom to ditch. A great dilemma captured ma mind but suddenly someone helped me. Who....?? its  MTv.... How ...??

Bagon  k her phool ko apna samajhe baghbaan
her ghadi kare rakhwali
patta patta, daali-daali seenche baghbaan 
Baghbaan rab hai baghbaan

WHAT.......!!! how can this crap turned me , how can this take me away from ma gf , infact these 4 line shows such a result that i have to throw hundreds of sorry, thousands of swears , and millions of emotional attack to compensate the effect.

OTher Posts.....
ONE WORD....just a one word
TRAINgular journey
BEER with me
5 Rules for Girl friend

Saturday, June 19, 2010

ONE WORD......Just a one word

STATUTORY WARNING:- Read the Complete letter dont dare to skip even a single line because this is ma blog and i will tell u how to read it.

" I can go through whole of ma life but never find another u , u r so special for me that i really love u"    NA..NA ... dont get confused this was not said by me , It was just a copy paste ( even sometimes i prefer to speak truth), I always try to write hilarious post but this doesnt mean that i dont have a pain in ma heart.... there is a pain......a pain for girl friend ( as usual).

Sometimes just a single word can change your life, it has a power to create a difference like hills and valley  ,a simple SORRY removes all the bitterness of a relation , a simple TRUE / FALSE can make u to clear an objective exam , a simple YES can make u and ur love together, but unfortunately ma ONE WORD is out of this word, M sharing a letter with u ,that was given to me by a human being and show u how just a single word broken all ma dreams, desire, hopes and opportunities ......

Hello Mr. Busy,

M writing this letter but really dont know whether i will give it to u or not but i wanna say something which i can never told to u when u r in front of me. U r an integral part of mine, a better one to whom i admire , i posses , i care , i like, i love. U met me 4 year back in clg , I always remember ma first day , first step, ma first talk, first fight, first outing with u and everything that we have done together.Ma arms missed holding u, ma eyes missed ur smile, ma ears missed the sound of ur laugh, i missed the smell of ur hear and taste of ur hug, i missed ur head resting on ma chest, i missed looking at u across the couch as i rub ur leg, i missed brushing back ur hair, missed holding ur hand, missed to staring into ur beautiful black eyes, i missed being held by u, i missed being near u, i missed u.

I care for u , i adore for u, i long for u , long to see ur love and adoration in ur eyes, i had the most wonderful time with u nd m gonna miss that to the whole of ma life, u made ma 4 year journey precious, priceless, memorable , thnxs for for being such a nice frnd of mine.....


Yours loving

WHAT....!!! ....A BOY....!!!   Yes this letter was given to me by one of ma best frnd and the same was the greatest pain of ma life. Just a single word ,  last word " GOVIND" brokes all ma dreams and desires, it was just like thousands of needles pintched inside me.It can b life happiest moment if the last word  represents some other sexual orientation than male but......


Ma Other posts:-

"BEER" with me
TRAINgular Journey
5 Rules for girl friend
Broken DEsires

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A TRAINgular journey

One of ma friend was addicted of blogging and and started its TRAINgular journey...but unfortunately train stopped caused engine failure and its blog too.But this TRAINgular journey does not have any resemblance with that older one but have so much similarity with ma story that even i cant stop ma self from title stealing     ( srry  yaar  ankit ). Title suits the story in both the ways, first one that incidence was happened in TRAIN and second was that its a story of Three(Triangle) creatures ( what a worst description, now i consider maself as a geek) , so A TRAINgular journey....

Patna-Mathura Express that played the lead role in the movie and i was just a passenger that caught the train on Agra station. "S-7, 63 Middle birth", I entered in the train with ma heavy luggage , with t-shirt that quoted "Bachna e haseeno lo mai aa gaya"( cool),  I searched for ma seat location, placed ma luggage, bought some water bottle and some packets of biscuit, put the music on headphones and finally settled down, than suddenly a female voice came frm ma left side , I turned and.... WTF...!! It was an ANGEL  having fair complexion wearing skin tight jeans and a black top quoted "All men are dogs", I immediately remove ma gazing eyes to prevent me from category of DOG , I wanna talk to her but that t-shirt slogan terrified me all the time.She read ma quote and passed a smile like I belongs to some urban area of africa who would have least dressing sense on planet , her eyes were shouting on me like "POOR GUY", first time I felt embarrassed abt ma dress, i immediately covered up the slogan with ma shirt and passed a friendly smile in response.

time was passed slowly and at 1 in night train stopped at TUNDLA JUNCTION, creature lying in front of me removed its blanket and......OMG !!! Another ANGEL.... I never expect this much of excitement came in ma life on just a single night...white short kurta with navy blue jeans having black friendship band on whitish wrist and the circular specks was generating a tremendous innocence on her face. She woke up... made her throat wet and asked me...

ANGEL:- which station is this ?

Me:- Tundla ...... ummm  kahan tak jana hai aapko ???

ANGEL:-(...Angry look....with a desire to slap me hard  ) LUCKNOW .

Me:- ( with Killing smile ) M too going Lucknow , Lucknow me  kahan jana hai aapko ? ( This time i  crossed the limit )

ANGEL:- Do u have any magazine ???
Me:-  yaaa ( I have to choose between Playboy and India today) i offered India Today.
ANGEL:- thnxs ( conversation ended).

I was excited too much that even i cant sense that what the crap i was doing and saying....I headed toward first angel she was busy with her headphones , i collected all ma nerves and said.

Me:- can u plz close the window its so cold ("giggles")
ANGEL:- without any respose to me she closed the shutter and busy again with her head phones.
Me:- (i felt strange but for longer conversation i fired another deadly question) Kaun sa gaana sun rahi hai ???
ANGEL:-  Ringa-Ringa Remix (what a weired look as she was compelled to tell her size in a public place)
Me:- Immediately i remembered the lyrics....what a sizzling lyrics , i passed a notorious smile with a slight tilt of eyes.

I have lost in ma own created world where i was sat alone with the two most hot chicks of ma life and enjoying their every little activity and most optimistically i started thinking one of them as ma future girl friend.  Old age community of ma train was gazing me as i teased their daughter or grand daughter, First time train compartment looks better than heaven, vibration of train creates the scene of dancing platform and and i felt maself like INDRA DEV to whom these two APSARAYE were trying to attract.

But every time i got the balloon of happiness somebody came to puncture it , an old lady of approx age 60-65 came sat next to me and said very politely " can u plz exchange ur seat with me, i have an upper birth and cant climb". ....NO  NOT  NEVER this was ma first reaction but unfortunately soundless , first time both the two angels were looking at me , first time the old age community was gazing me with some expectations , first time a thought what m going to do is wrong ....but YES... YES was ma answer.

I shifted to the upper birth , entire compartment murmuring abt me " WHAT A NICE GUY" , I put headphones in ears and like always closed ma eyes and lost again in ma so called dreams where at least i can plot the timing , characters and story.

"BEER" with me
5 Rules for Girlfriend
Broken DEsires
Thinking power Of mind

Monday, June 14, 2010

"BEER" with me.....

After the long involvement of Engg studies i was mentally exhausted and need some immediate medical attention for survival ,although i havent set any milestone but to run in MARATHON and to complete is also a big deal, and luckily i got a chance to attend one of ma frnds sis marriage just after the completion of m  going to ALLAHABAD, Time is there when the city was known for CHANDRA SHEKHAR "AZAD", KHUSRAU BAGH , MUSEUM , FORTS but now a days only known for BOL-BACHAN and AMITABH BACHHAN.

6 close frnds frm 6 different cities are coming to attend ANNA's sister marriage, all r depressed , frustrated , humiliated , sucked ( y m using so many words when only one word can express the condition......simply FUCKED)  by paternal / maternal torture, Because difference in hostel and home life was just like difference in NOKIA N-73 with NOKIA 1200 (....connecting people)....At 12'o' clock the Tornado was generated ,hotel room was over flowed with laughter , bed was unable to bear the weight of six monsters fighting to hug each other , We all duffers were together and the round of endless autobiographies started.

An engineering student has one common thing in their packet of joy and sorrow........BEER (hmmm....HAYWORD 5000) order of 8 beer was already placed along with Egg cutlet , cheese pakora , peenut masala on (one thing we like in marriage was that u just focus on variety of dishes not on their prices) Round 1 started , as much the liquid go inside double of quantity of talks comes outside , n the room was overloaded with beer bottles, cigratte butts , matchsticks and the grayish smoke, Storm was not stopped here , 2nd Round than 3rd round and the final 4th of bottles degrades every time but still a total count of .......OMG !!!  22 bottles was there, and after the alcohol everyone consider himself more accurate and responsible ( what a bullshit...) so we decided to wake up at 5 'o' clock and went to sleep.

Fuck   Fuck was 8:20 pm , i jumped from the bed and woke the others but still one of then said...
MM:- kya natak hai abhi to 4 baje hai , teri utri nhi hai kya...???
ME:- 4 !! (puzzled and check the time again...) abe gadhe minute ki nhi ghante ki sui dekh.....ghante sale
MM:- OMG !! y didnt u do this before, u took the task to woke us all...
ME:-pathetic smile.....(saale jaga diya kya kam hai... body me alarm clock fit hai kya jo sahi time per jagata )
All r suffering from HANG OVER but any how we manage to collect the belongings and converted us from daily ware to party ware. At 9:45 ANKIT shouted " saalo gift to liya hi nahi" and beleive me sometimes a hanged over mind runs faster than speed of sound, immediately thousands of option were produced in a sec from FLOWER BOO-KEY to KITCHEN SET , from VISHAL MEGA MART to BIG BAZAAR and CASH GIFT to NO GIFT....and every one was fixed with his own choice and least interested in each others it was decided to headed towards destination and whatever came first and whichever things was available , we will

Finally we reach VISHAL MEGA MART which was just abt to close ,we bought a DESSERT SET and OH SHIT !!...its a we started the search for RICKSHAWALA , in life first time i made so many attempts for doing the same thing and all the time rejected, time was so bad for us that now even RICKSHAWALEY were not interested in us may b because of our weird look or may b smell of BEER frm mouth....but this unknown quality had made us to walk 2 km far on a dusty road.

Finally we reached at destination at 11:35 pm with struggling breathe , fully bathed in sweat , hairs were automatically spiked, and whatever we weared is no more than useless,we searched for our frnd ANNA and asked him
ME:- Koi kaam ho to batana, we r here so dont worry yaar .
ANNA:-Badi jaldi aa gaye saalo , Barat ko aaye hue aadha ghanta ho chuka hai.....ghante saale

we just handed over the gift to him and made an attack on food , Starving stomack and blasting mind forced us for ignore all and just focus on food, we eat than drink ...than eat than drink than again eat....after half an hour we sat on couch at waiting for "JAIMAAL" but unfortunately we didnt control the shutters of our eyes and started napping, So we decided to skip the JAIMAAL and returned back to hotel.

The day was so hectic and full of tragedies  that we cant sleep without sleeping pills and what can act as sleeping pills better than BEER so we bought another bottle of ALCOHOL.....but this time it was not 8 % this time it was 42.8%......A BLENDER'S PRIDE.

5 Rules for girl friend 
Thinking Power Of Mind 
Virginity Vs Flirting 
Inside Story 
Broken Desire 

Friday, June 4, 2010


All the given material is fictitious and have no resemblance with any dead or alive person and to follow this involve the serious b aware before reading!!!

Having a GIRL FRIEND is a hidden desire of all , some make efforts to make this dream true and some just hide this in their ass .Off course Neither m a love guru nor i giving u a surety that following rules can make ur life out of trouble. This is just an effort to hand over ma experience to u all....

RULE 1 :- Never focus on hottest chick of ur community always try for the third or fourth no girls in boyz so called girls rating list. this involves less competition , less efforts , less planning and more specifically success rate is very high. Selection is a factor that defines ur success. Like AJAY DEVGAN is successful for KAJOL but might b failed in case of AISHWARYA RAI.

RULE 2 :- Propose the girl in ur second meeting bcoz a girl saw hundreds of boyz in a day with the same eye but if u propose her than she will saw u with different angle. That creates the difference between u and all. Just like IMRAN HASMI done in movie TUMSA NHI DEKHA to DIYA MIRZA.

RULE 3 :- Always pray for the rejection of your first proposal to the girl because only a whore can accept your proposal in very first time, so b ready for ur next proposal and next attempt should b made very soon and make a loop of proposal till she said yes.

RULE 4:- If u r Alcoholic than this quality goes into ur favour. Just call her when u r drunken or just pretend that u r drunken and throw some emotional talks that defines her innocence her character and her beauty. Because it’s a girls tendency that a person who can praise her or love her in the position when he even didn’t stand straight than how much he praise her in normal conditions.

RULE 5 :- Never go for the bullshits like “sacrifice “ for sake of anyone specially frnds bcoz everything can be recovered except girl and if u have a girl it will open ur way to enter in the girls world where others girls wanna talk to u , they admire u , and consider u as a safe guy, and this safe guy proverb helps u most.

DEFAULT :- If still u r alone than dear u r not made for girls , u should accept that u r just an asshole , a good for nothing and no one can do for u anything , so it’s a advise to u to concentrate on your studies or ur job and rest left on your parents they will definitely provide u one.


VIRginiTY vs FLIRting


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