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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

"Ms. JAVA" Vs " Mr. Mag"

INsanity by Mag[m]:-


She : I Love You, I Love You, I Love You .*with her immense beauty and desperate in her voice*
Me : Fuck off, Fuck off, Fuck off. * with my Rude-Dude-Type looks and Avoid-Her Types voice*.

She : But why, Don’t you love me ?

Me : Love you !!! *little villainous laugh* Bullshit , You are just a symbol of miseries, even i m not terrified as much for being caught while watching porn as much you terrified me, I will prefer to live with Dolly Bindra rather than you, You make ma life so infertile as that farms looks after harvesting over Farmville, you make me just like a retired whore, useless, worthless and even soulless. *with Red-Ass-Expressions*

She : But why only you are suffering so much, others are handling me very easily, may b you need to work little more on me.* with a cunning smile*

Me : ohhh cut this crap or else i will cut your neck, M regularly wasting ma 12-14 hrs sitting in front of you, ma eye side got increased , M feeling some piles symptoms in some of ma sensitive parts, ma appearance got even more dangerous than Albert Einstein itself and you are saying i need to focus more. I can’t understand where to focus and don’t dare to compare others with me. They may live with sucking their own ass but i can’t.

She : why are you talking so harsh ?
Me : What !! m I look harsh to you...no , not at all dear, m actually chilling from inside and even pulses getting jammed. Do you know just because of you I returned back in the midnights from office, even the street dogs got ma timing and they never take a pain to open their eyes from their sleep, I was so fucked up at time that even the watchman surrender his wallet, watch, ring and other possession to me if i roared just a bit loud. Ma landlord’s child started comparing me with all those devils that he heard in his granny fairytales and you are still saying that why m so harsh.... m not harsh...not at all .

She : Is it ma fault and why are you blaming me, I agree that you sit 14 hrs. in front of me but in that time you want 10 smoking breaks, your girlfriend called you at least 15 times and don’t know how many times your testosterone got hyper activated by seeing your female colleges.
Me : *blank*

She : Look, I know its not easy for anyone, specially for the morons like you who can forgot to take pen in the examination hall but never miss a chance a ogle at the hot examiner and say thanks to GOD to not bringing your pen because it will give you a chance to have a chit chat with her.
Me : *blank*.

She : You are doing miracles over me, How many of others learnt me as fast as you did, How many of others wrote the 200 line code in me just on third day of learning and got 700 errors. Even ma compiler send me a personal note about your historical effort .

I took a 30 seconds of break to analyses whether she is commenting or complimenting, and finally got nothing as output from ma useless mind but suddenly something strikes in the empty box of mind and created echoes....700 errors

Me : but .. *she interrupted in between before I end or I start saying anything*
She : Yeah moron !! I know you still pissed off because of those 700 errors but think how many of others have just cleared those 700 errors in 2 hrs. Don’t be so rude and pessimist that you cant hold me in your arms. you got the guts and balls in your pant and you just need to give one more try .

"Hold , Arms, guts & balls" these are some words that make me to think again on this and somewhat m convinced not because she is good orator but because...

1. Someone is praising me and this is not a customer care call that you got regularly, its rare for me.
2. I don’t have any other option because now its not all about learning JAVA but to have balls in ma pants.

Me : *smiled* nodded

But suddenly i got kick on ma chair, ma world shakes like fruit shakes in juicer, m just at the verge to hit ma computer screen, ma day dreaming got over ..  SHIT...HOLY SHIT !!
Me: What the Fuck yaar, who the hell is this ?
Ashutosh : Dude !! focus on your coding, you again got 700 errors, what a consistency man, if Sehwag got this consistency than he alone is capable to beat other assholes*grinned*


FUCK OFF You and Your lame jokes, let me concentrate...... and saga of struggle again started.

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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I Quit

INsanity by Mag[m]:-

DATE : 24-jan-2011 to 6-apr-2011
VENUE : Trivandrum , TCS training center
OBJECTS : Mag and ....*to b continued*


ROUND ONE

'You are irritating me, can you please shut your mouth' , she said
although she is not praising me but still somewhere in her mind m dominating and that was not a bad start
'yeah sure dear,why m here , just only to follow you dear' *grinned* , i replied
she looked at me with more irritation.
'friends ?' i asked
'only if you keep your mouth shut for next one hour', she added

'round one cleared, mission accomplished ',i murmured to myself
 'what ?' she asked with suspicious eyes.

' ahh nothing , m ready dear' *grinned*
I dont know what makes me to use this "dear" word so frequently, but seriously m using it as like any software engineer use "Ctrl-c & Ctrl-v" in his work.M helpless.


ROUND TWO

' Hello',  again i asked her on very next day

 Hello, she replied with Not-again-type-looks
'whats new cooking here ? any updates over case study ? i added with more cheerfulness to make the conversation go on.


Firstly she gave me a dirty look and than shouted like a customer who shouts over  customer care on being misbehaved in terms of his mobile balance  'Are u mad or what, we need to submit the documentation part on friday, only 2 more days to go, we really need to work hard, else wise we will be in a big trouble, m working on it since 9 in morning and you are coming at 2 in afternoon and asking for updates.You are sick or what.'

( wow !!! she looks so cute in anger, thin lips, deep eyes, cute face , i was totally lost in her , i was just continuously gazing  on her and passing an innocent smile to her,  girls mostly speak non speak but the way they speak can kill the number of morons like me, the only thing in a mind running weather today i should asked her for coffee or should i wait for weekends)

'Hello' she started waving her hands in front of ma mouth so close that i can feel the warmth and softness of it, *So Romantic*

' yeah !! tell me ,whats the updates in case study ?' i asked again with max innocence as nothing happened just 30 seconds back.

 (she fell silent, suddenly sadness hijacked the innocence of her face, she sat on chair restlessly with the expression on her face that can instigate me the most.)
'hey, here are the documents for submission, i completed it last night for you only.',  i don't know what makes the last three words soundless  but i really wanted to say it.
Firstly looks suspicious, but as she started turning the pages one by one, her smile goes widen and simultaneously I started loosing ma senses again,
'thanxs mag thnxs alot, u are a real gem , 'she offered her hand for a shake'
'round two cleared, mission accomplished', again I murmured to ma self.
' what ?' she asked
'nothing', i added * grinned*

ROUND THREE

' hey dear' she said, (just two words and to explain how deep they penetrated  deep inside ma heart was even more tougher than to explain Black-hole theory.)
 (mag !! she initiated the conversation , good going mag !! congos, three cheers ), 'hey', i replied
'Just b ready at 8 pm', she said with lots of secrets hiding behind her facial expressions.
' me...!! for what ?' i asked to her
'What !! you don't know ..we are going for dinner together.....ahh actually not only we but the whole group, so you HAVE TO join us.', she replied

(I dont know why she made so much stress over HAVE TO, but i like it,she was not just only informing me but she was forcing me to come with the group or rather with her and usually girls have this kinda attitude only for the category of Some-one-specials.)


'yeah sure', I replied
'round three cleared, mission accomplished', again I murmured to ma self.
'what ?', she asked ( this time she looked eager to keep the conversation go on)
'nothing', i replied *grinned*

ROUND 4

This was the last day of our training almost everyone was sad and were feeling bad to get separated from each other but somewhere deep inside me i was very happy,  i waited this day so  badly because

1. Its destiny,you have to be separated with your mates one day. so Why So Serious ?
2. Internet provided you so many ways to be in touch with ur mates. so again Why So Serious ?

3. We both are going to same place again to join the company. So Why Sould I So Serious ?

I know the first two reasons were useless but even today i cant say the things straight.Altough she was coming with us to Delhi but m will not meet her for next 4 days, there was something kicking in ma mind,  butterflies were playing soccer in ma stomach , something bad was happening somewhere, i dont know what but something was going wrong, i called her
'Hello, when is ur flight?', i asked
'Why ?? what happen, why r u suddenly asking about ma flight', she enquired
'Just tell me, when is flight departing ?', i asked again with more intensity in voice.
'Tomorrow morning, 6 am', she replied
(i was blank , i dont know what to say next, its already 11 in the night and i had no option to meet her)
'what happened', she inquired again
'nothing, leave it', i replied with sorrow in ma voice
'areee tell me, why u looked so sad', she asked
'nothing, just feeling bad , ma mates are leaving and we will not meet again', i replied,
( still i was unable to express her truth, i was feared somewhere inside to loose her, i was not ready to face this storm)
'there is something else, you are hiding something, tell me dude, m yor friend you can share it with me', she given me some courage by saying this.
' I think I like you, m trying ma best to avoid all this but m helpless, craze for you is growing day by day , i m not what i was earlier, i tried earlier to say you all this but never find guts but m not forcing this over you, if you dont like it its better you start avoid me' i replied with a continuity and a blank mind
*blank*, 5 second of silence over phone and she disconnected the call*
'round four incomplete, mission failed', i replied by wiping a drop of tear and put the cell down.



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